The Dark Knight

My outlook on life wasn't always so positive.  I was just thinking about that.  Actually, a few years ago, I had a bad year.  I won't say it was just the worst because there is always someone that has it worse and you never know what the future holds.  At the time, it just seemed like a bad, hopeless year.  I had gained about 20 pounds and was just out of shape.  With that, my energy levels were low.  I had recently moved to a new location and didn't really know anyone.  I was unmotivated at work after I didn't get the promotion I had hoped for.  Financially, I was living paycheck to paycheck.  That's not suffering but it's not financially stable.  I was also lost in relationships.  Overall, nothing was going my way.  At the end of that year, my Grandma passed away.  That put the darkest cloud over my head.  I felt like I was stuck in quicksand and the more I fought, the deeper I sank.

Off The Sidelines

Being forced to sit on the sidelines sucks!  That's all there is to it.  Luckily, I managed to not push myself too fast.  I gave my ankle time to heal.  I decided to try running a couple days ago to see how it felt.  It felt good, no discomfort.  I did wear a more supportive shoe this time.  The shoes gave me a bit more confidence to push myself during a few stretches of my run.  I hope you're not imagining me as an everyday runner type.  That is not me.  I run a couple of times a week.  During this run, I did walk a bit but I still completed the 2 mile run.  Today, I will try running again.  I hope to improve my run today.  Regardless of how I run today, I'm just excited to be off the sidelines.

Sidelined

The title says exactly how I feel right now...sidelined.  I'm just sitting by as things happen around me.  Literally sitting.  I guess I should give you the back story.  Yesterday, I agreed to play ultimate football with my coworkers.  I told myself I wouldn't push myself past my physical limits but once the game started, my competitive spirit took over.  I wasn't the all-star but I made great contributions to my team: some great passes and some phenomenal catches (which probably seem better in my thoughts than reality)!  About half way through the game, my lower back began to tighten and hurt.  I moved a bit slower but I still had bursts of greatness because I knew my teammates needed me.  Afterwards, my back was killing me.  I could still walk, just uncomfortably.  Then later at work, while sitting, my ankle just began to throb.  At the end of my workday, I stood up to leave and I could not put pressure on my ankle.  That is the twist in my story.  It wasn't my back that sidelined me, it was my ankle.  I guess I sprained it but I didn't realize it until later.  So now, I'm sitting here...sidelined.

2012

It's a new year!  So far, everything seems about the same.  Now is the time that people begin working towards their resolutions.  Mine are the usual.  Be better at love, work, fitness, and finances.  Pursue my goals.  I think I'll stop there.  If I really sit and think about it, I'm sure my list would just continue to grow.  The main theme of my resolutions is to be better.  Some areas of my resolutions just require a little improvement while others will be more of a challenge.  "Being better" isn't really a well defined goal but it works for me.  I just want to see improvement and growth in myself.  So, what are your resolutions for 2012?

No Regrets

As I begin to unwind and relax over the holidays, it gives me time to reflect over the past year.  It was definitely a busy year.  It was a year with plenty of change.  It was a year of challenge.  I challenged myself to accomplish academic goals; I now have a 3.7 GPA.  Yes, even with my procrastination.  I admit I procrastinate but because of that, I work through days without sleep to complete assignments...which I don't recommend.  I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone and I was successful.  I challenged myself to present my thoughts to the world and created my blog.  It's been running a few months and I enjoy it.  I feel this year I'm a bit closer to my friends and family.  There was and still is some pain in my life after someone close to me passed away this year.  I'm glad that I was able to see him before this happened.  Through the joy and the pain, I continue to live my life to the fullest.  I continue to live with no regrets as I welcome 2012.  Let's see what the year will bring!

You Better Recognize

When someone does something good, they should be recognized.  Often, people are recognized for the bad things they do.  If someone is only told about the negative things they do, they may begin to believe that they can't do anything right.  And that is not the case.  Everyone is capable of doing great things.  Recognition can be as simple as saying, "Good job!" or "I really appreciate your help."  These are small gestures to recognize someone.  There are bigger ways to recognize people such as cards, gifts, or awards.  You can also treat the person to lunch.  The main goal of recognition is to acknowledge the good deed someone accomplished.  Though many people don't expect recognition, it is nice to receive it.

Don't Stop Believing

If you really push yourself, there will be times when you begin to question yourself.  You will wonder if you can succeed.  You may ask yourself questions like...Am I strong enough?  Am I smart enough?  Am I mentally tough enough?  When you are in this situation, one of two things needs to happen to get you through this moment.  One, if you have someone in your life that believes in you, you can turn to them and they should provide you the added boost you need to get through.  A loved one should be your biggest fan and they can tell you why you are great and push you higher.  Two, you can know your own strength and value and never stop believing in yourself.  You have to determine which scenario works best for you.  Probably, the best solution is to have both in your favor.  If you never stop believing in yourself and you have a loved one that believes in you, this will provide a lot of strength in your corner.

Outside the Comfort Zone

Most people are aware of their comfort zone and even more aware when they step outside of it.  Lots of people choose to remain in their comfort zone.  Why?  Because it's easy.  It's comfortable.  I used to stay inside my comfort zone.  I'm introverted and my shyness always prevented me from doing more.  Then one day I took a look at myself and decided I will try to be better and step outside my comfort zone.  Once I did it, it was scary.  It was highly stressful but I survived.  It was exciting.  I didn't have to wonder if I was capable of doing something anymore.  I knew because I had already done it.  Now, I like to step outside my comfort zone.  I still get the same feelings each time I try something new.  Worry, doubt, frightened, excited.  But, at the end, I get the sense of accomplishment.  That makes it more than worth it.

Remember When?

I enjoy technology and the Internet, but I look at how it has changed some parts of our lives.  I'm sure most inventions are for the better; I just like to think back to a time that wasn't so long ago.

Remember when...

You used to go to the movie rental store to rent movies?

You used to watch movie previews before a movie at home?

You used to have to get home by a certain time to watch your favorite TV show?

You used to have a large DVD rack to hold your collection?

You used to have a larger CD rack to hold your collection?

Your TV was so heavy and not thin that you never thought about mounting it on the wall?

You used a VCR?

You jogged with a portable CD player?

You used to go inside your bank or use the Drive-up Teller?

You carried a checkbook?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello to everyone that's tuning in.  Today is a day when most of us enjoy a much needed day off.  No sitting in traffic during your daily commute or any other work hassles.  It's a day that we don't worry about the politics of the world.  We can just relax and enjoy good food and good company.  Don't forget to take the time out to think about who and what you are thankful for.  Enjoy the time off and share it with your friends and family.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Derailed

We all have plans or ideas for how we anticipate things will happen.  When it works out, that's great.  Sometimes plans go awry; sometimes we just fall off our path.  We desire the end result but sometimes the road is so long, you can't maintain your focus.  If you truly want the end result though, the realistic answer is you have to refocus and keep pushing towards your end goal.  Nobody ever said it would be easy.  Most of the difficult goals in life are worth the struggle and sacrifice.  So when you feel like you are no longer focused, you have to reach deeper into your soul and find the strength and focus to persevere.  Show the world you can do it!  Most importantly, prove it to yourself!

Connections

One of the most priceless things about this world is the connections we make.  Love connections are great but that's not my focus here.  The connections we have with family can be just as wonderful.  My family has always been close and with that, you love the good and you expect, accept, and move past the bad.  Of course it's family so sometimes it doesn't move that quickly through the process.  Some family members can be very stubborn.  Sometimes it's justifiable, but it's hard to see it being worth the rift in the relationship.  I mean it's family!  That's one of your closest bonds.  Then you have the connections you make with friends.  It's interesting how you may be the new person in any given situation and everyone welcomes you into the group.  You feel like you are part of something much larger.  They give you strength; they make you laugh.  You all can share your past experiences and ideas and you learn from it.  It makes you wiser and you can see more than just your own perspective.  That's priceless!  That's why I welcome my connections.

RIP Heavy D

I guess I haven't paid enough attention to the news lately because I'm just finding out Heavy D has passed away.  He was only 44 years old.  This is a tragedy.  I feel like everyone should have enjoyed his music or watched him perform.  I never saw him live but just from the music videos, he was always awesome.  Even though he was overweight, his performance was always energetic.  His music was always positive; he wanted people to dance.  I believe that he enjoyed dancing.  I truly feel he was a true artist.  

Mini Me

I'm at a point in my life where I would like to have a child.  I would like a boy.  I imagine a mini me.  That would be so cool to watch a small version of me.  To watch how he would make decisions.  To see if he thinks and acts like me.  I would teach him to be better than me.  I heard that somewhere...don't remember where.  "Don't be like me...be better than me."  I would like to watch him grow up and see the man he would become.  I would like to see how Nature vs Nurture plays out because he wouldn't grow up in the same environment as me.

Fear Itself

"The only thing to fear is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

That's a famous phrase that I often repeat to myself whenever I have fear.  Honestly, I really dislike fear.  I guess I'm a bit of a control freak and I feel like I don't have control when I'm scared and vulnerable.  For a control freak, that's a weird feeling to be out of control.  I can try to rationalize and calm myself down after the fact; but in the moment when the fear overcomes you, you get a glimpse at how you respond to fear.  It's pure instinct...fight or fly.  It really sucks when your instinct is to flee.  But that's what makes courage so interesting.  You are scared of what's happening or about to happen but you take the risk anyway.  That's courageous!  Courage is weathering the storm of fear.

Extra Extra

Sometimes I feel like I never sleep or I'm just never on a consistent schedule.  There are just so many things I want to accomplish, but I feel there is too little time in the day.  I watched the "Making of 25/8" on VEVO.  I hope that's the correct name for the song.  It's a new song by the extremely talented Mary J. Blige.  She talks about how the song is about if people had extra time in their life...an extra hour in their day, an extra day in their week.  It looks at what a person would do with that extra time.  That's time for what or who you love the most.  I haven't even seen the actual video yet (I don't think it's available yet) and I'm already relating to it and trying to analyze it.  Since I don't have 25/8, I need to make sure I make time for what's truly important in my life with the time I have.

The Day No Music Played

Music is a large industry.  From singers, musicians, promoters, producers, and on and on, many people live out their dreams and profit from the music we listen to.  I don't know the exact breakdown of how much each person makes from every song or album.  Music is an accepted form of art and it means a lot to many people.  Think about how often you listen to and/or create music.  Now, imagine a day where there is no music.  You would take a shower in silence.  What sound would your phone make without a custom ring tone?  There would be nothing to distract and motivate you while you exercise.  You would only have traffic and road noise to enjoy on your daily commute to and from work.  Television shows would have no theme music.  Movies would have no soundtrack.  Wow!  Imagine calling a company and being placed on hold.  There is no music!  What would you dance to?  Regardless of the music you prefer, continue to listen.  I really enjoy music.  I don't want to ever see the Day No Music Played.

Accent

I feel a lot better today.  I have rested and everything seems clearer.  Sleep deprivation really messes with me.  I was just watching television and this commercial came on with a lady with an accent.  I really like accents.  I'm sure I'm not alone thinking this.  Accents are attractive.  Well, at least most accents.  I'm sure there are some that aren't as appealing.  Why do people like accents? I guess people like the difference; it's something new.  When I say accents, everyone probably thinks about British, French, Italian, or Spanish accents.  Well, that's just Europe.  You may think about an African, Canadian, or Australian accent.  Do you ever wonder what American accents sound like to other people around the world?  I'm curious because I don't think I have an accent but to someone from another part of the world, it may be easy to recognize my accent.  So now, I'll be thinking about how I sound to other people.

Deprived

Please excuse the fog that envelopes my writing.  I didn't sleep much last night and I had to do some errands that took the place of my sleep time.  Now, I feel exhausted.  I feel like I have already worked a full day...and now, I'm about to go to work.  It's probably not healthy that I'm depriving myself of sleep.  I'm yawning as I write this.  My eyes are beginning to water and my eyelids feel so heavy.  I lean back and close my eyes briefly.  I can't leave them closed or I will fall asleep.   I can only imagine how well I will sleep tonight and I look forward to it.  I'm not sure why I'm putting myself in this position.  As the heaviness of my eyelids begins to subside, I prepare for the day that lies ahead.  Though I'm tired, I am still focused.  I will get through the remainder of the day and I will reward myself with rest.

The Biggest Critic

Who is your biggest critic?  I had a boss once that was very demanding.  It seemed like nothing I ever did was good enough so I worked harder and harder.  Eventually our minds aligned and I was able to produce the results expected of me.  Even though this boss was difficult, he was not my biggest critic.  In relationships, your significant other may advise, subtly suggest, or demand that you make some changes in your life or personality for the success of the relationship.  Sometimes this can seem like a lot but most likely, your significant other is your biggest supporter...not your biggest critic.  In my experience, my biggest critic is me.  I criticize everything I do, always questioning if I'm doing my best.  This can include work, education, volunteering, exercise, finance, and relationships.  This can end with great results but it can also waste precious time when I obsess over perfection.  My biggest critic will always be around.  It's up to me to determine if his critiques have merit and should be addressed or if they are petty.