Anger Management: Don't Kick The Cat!

Don't kick the cat!

We all have days like this.  You think you're completely relaxed.  You think you are going to have a great day.  Then the first person you see just says or does something to ruin your day.  All of a sudden you're upset...you just can't manage your anger.  How and why do we go from 0-60 like this?  Don't kick the cat!

Don't kick the cat!

Or maybe, your day just started off poorly.  Your alarm clock didn't go off and you wake up and instantly have to rush out of the house skipping breakfast.  You're already running late and then you get stuck in traffic.  Your stomach is rumbling with hunger and someone cuts you off.  You want to go faster but you have no control over the traffic.  When you finally make it to work, the last person you want to see when you walk in the door is your boss.  Guess who is the first person you see?  Your boss!  And what do they say?  You're late!  You're mad at everyone at that moment.  You're mad at yourself for waking up late.  You're mad at your clock for not working right.  You're mad at the traffic, the drivers that cut you off, and your boss for acknowledging something you already knew.  Don't kick the cat!

Don't kick the cat!

Regardless of the cause of your anger, don't kick the cat!  This is a story I heard in an audiobook by Zig Zigler: See You At The Top.  I'll just give you a quick version of it because I can't do it justice the way he does.  You'll have to read the book for the best rendition.

Let's say the boss arrives late and because he's mad and doesn't want to draw attention to him being late, he enters the office and yells at his vice president for not completing a sale.  Now, the vice president is mad and he walks by his secretary.  He yells at her for not providing the files he asked for yesterday.  Now, the secretary is upset.  When she gets home, she sees mud tracked across the floor.  She finds her son and yells at him for not removing his shoes at the door.  Now her son is upset.  As he's storming off, their pet cat crosses his path.  And you guessed it!  He kicks the cat!

Don't kick the cat!

The main thing to take away from this story is that we all have days where we get angry for whatever reason.  It's often difficult at the time but you have to realize why you're angry or who you're really angry with.  You don't want to take your anger out on the wrong person...especially if you really care about this person.  It's better to use anger management than to start the anger domino affect that will end with a cat getting kicked.

Carnival

For most people, Natalie Merchant is a well-known name.  I've recently become acquainted with her music.  I heard one of her songs on VH1 and instantly liked the way she delivered it.  VH1 said Tigerlily was a really good (perhaps classic) album by Natalie Merchant so I decided to find it.

I don't think it was the first time I've heard Natalie Merchant's songs.  I used to work in a local supermarket when I was  a teenager and I remember hearing lots of 80's songs playing.  Some songs spoke to me but I didn't know the artists.  I was also young and heavy into Rap and RnB so I only listened to what I'm guessing would be called Alternative music while I was at work.  When I hear songs a few times and they are catchy, I learn them quickly.

Back to Natalie Merchant, Tigerlily, and Carnival, I listened to her album and enjoyed the entire album.  When Carnival first came on, I didn't recognize the song, especially not the lyrics.  Once it got to the hook, I recognized the song.  I had heard it before but I had never really listened to it.

"Have I been blind?  Have I been lost?  Inside myself and my own mind?  Hypnotized?  Mesmerized by what my eyes have seen?" (Natalie Merchant, Carnival)

Natalie is comparing a part of what she's seen in life to a carnival.  It is a very interesting outlook.  It makes me wonder, "Are we just going through the motions?"  Are we living our lives or are we just going along the road set for us?  I think there are definitely times in our lives that we are just on auto-pilot.  There are also times in our lives where we get to a point where we can choose to continue down that road or take a different route.  The problem with that is that you have to be alert to notice when that time comes.  Otherwise, you'll just pass right by it.

While a carnival can be entertaining, I don't want to spend my whole life inside one.  I don't wan't be be "Hypnotized, mesmerized by what my eyes have seen." (Natalie Merchant, Carnival).  I want to be awake and surprise life and myself by taking some different paths.

Prevent Burn Out

Prevent Burn Out

It's good to be motivated!  It's great to be a hard worker.  Along with all the effort, you also have to take some time to relax and recharge your batteries from time to time.  It doesn't help if you constantly push yourself to the burn out point.   I know from experience.  Sometimes, it's very hard to recover.  What do you think about when you see this picture?

Prevent Burn Out

Most people would probably think that looks pretty cool.  If you're thinking that looks awesome right now or that you could really use a vacation, you may want to be careful.  It sounds like you may have a lot of stress in your life.  You probably need to take a vacation.  It doesn't have to be this elaborate and expensive.  You may just need a few days away.  Sometimes the weekend is just not long enough.  Think about coordinating with your boss to take an extended weekend occasionally.  This may prevent burn out.

Prevent Burn Out

You should also think about what relaxes you.  Identify stress relievers and take time to use them.  I'm a NBA 2K (video game) player.  I like basketball and it relaxes me to play after work.  If I'm having a bad day, and then I lose the game, it adds to my stress.  Therefore, I have other activities that help me relax and prevent burn out.  They include running, driving, going to the beach, listening to music, and of course blogging.

We all have so much we want to accomplish.  At times, the mountain looks too large to tackle.  Some days, you just feel like you're in quicksand.  The more you fight, the more you sink.  Remember, you're not alone.  That is the most important thing to keep in mind to prevent burn out.  Don't let your stress cause you to lash out at those closest to you.

If you're an overachiever, that's a good thing.  Keep doing what you're doing, just know your limits.  I've seen too many hard workers with ailments from pushing too hard.  Some people don't realize the impact stress can have on their health until it's too late.  Take the time now to prevent burn out for a happy, healthy life.

Prevent Burn Out

Work Hard, Play Hard

Work Hard, Play Hard

Work hard, play hard.  In life, you have to be balanced.  It's often easier said than done.  I mean...how do you know what is the perfect balance?  It can change from day to day or month to month.  My balance changes daily because I may think in the morning I'm going to only work a normal shift and then I can do something I enjoy after work.  Then, a new assignment may pop up that needs to be resolved quickly.  It may take a while to complete and then the day may go by quickly.  All of a sudden, you're done with the new task but you haven't accomplished anything that you had planned originally.

There were times when I spent more time playing instead of working.  It was my choice to work hard instead of play hard.  Oh, it was great and a lot of fun!  I did whatever I wanted with no worries about the consequences.  The funny thing about consequences is that even when you don't worry about them, they are still there.  Because of my choice, I fell behind in accomplishing my goals during that time.  Sure, I was happy in the present, but it wasn't good for my future.  Time moves faster than you think.

There were also times when I just worked too hard.  I couldn't enjoy life; work consumed me.  I may have had success at work during this time but I was over stressed without an outlet.  "Sometimes when you win, you actually lose or tie." (Rosie Perez, White Men Can't Jump)

I survived both scenarios but only because I or people around me noticed that I was veering too much one way or the other.  Without the intervention, I hate to imagine what would have happened.  Finding the proper balance is the key.  Too much of anything is unhealthy.  Even today, I'm still learning when to work hard and when to play hard.